Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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