I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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