so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
