I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
