Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
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Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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