That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
