i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
