seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
