Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
