I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
