i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize