fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
