lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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