420 ftw
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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