he told me I talked like a deaf person
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
