If that was your dad, he is hot
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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