I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Randomize
