No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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