Sponge bath it is.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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