Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
