you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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