After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
