did you get engaged???
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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