he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
