Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
