therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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