ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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