I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Boobs are out for the taking
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
