Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
