I'm going to jail i love you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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