please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
