Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
