who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
