he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
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Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
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