can u get pink eye on your cock?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
