he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
