i think my tv is drunk
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We talked him into tasing himself.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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