At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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