dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
