Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i think i have two assholes
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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