what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
