Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
