Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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