I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
