It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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