Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
