ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
