boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
