We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
