I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
