Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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