too bad you live with your parents still
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
