I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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