Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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