Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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