so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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