I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
should my penis look like a turkey
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
