Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
