Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
