girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Can you bring me the toilet please
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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