I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
