Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
