I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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