I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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